Dr.Ruthless: Methods & Philosophy

Fear Into Fire!

So you want to be 'kick ass.' Great! But first, take a moment and imagine that YOU are being attacked, that your words and best efforts at peaceful persuasions have failed, that escape is not an immediate option. That terror has seized your heart with such a mighty force that you can barely stand. Think. Breathe.

Not pleasant, I know. But it happens, and not just to women but to strapping men. Now let’s re-imagine....but first, understand this:

Self Defense is an inside-out job. Before branding ourselves "toughees" we need to look inward and dig down. Here's a critical question: "If YOU are assaulted, where will YOU go inside yourself to mobilize focus, power, presence of mind, and to harness the terrifying charge of fear and adrenaline and call up courage with the whole of your heart?

Where will you go inside of yourself when all that you hold sacred, your most coveted beliefs in the goodness of man, are blown to smithereens by that first telling blow that slams across your face, by apoplectic rage and spewing of filth from someone you’ve loved…? How will you COLLECT YOURSELF and command wild emotions to rally in formation, your sub-atomic self forging an iron will. And do this in a heartbeat because miliseconds count.

Now the GOOD News: Take a deep breath because there IS such a place and way to mobilize. It's a place, I simply call "Fierce" and it's already wired into our survival instincts, our brain, bodies, hearts, minds. But for many of us, this once-readied power, like an unused muscle, may have atrophied or gone dormant. It needs to be unearthed, switched ON, nurtured and instructed then kept ON like a pilot light's flame. Because in the Moment of Truth all systems must be GO!

It also helps to understand certain realities about HOW women are assaulted and what typically precedes an attack:

At a final stage of 'intent to attack' men will use coercion and terror tactics- their greater size, strength, power, and 'status' to intimidate, dominate, terrify and ultimately gain compliance and control. An assailant's goal is to shut you up... and shut you down. To subdue you, strike at your will and create a Power Outage. (Yours.) And it’s a tactic that has sadly worked for far too long.

It’s time to re-seize our female powers. Let us reap fear’s fruits, harvest its furies, and hone the skills to repel and resist attack —even with our hearts wildly pounding in fear.

Now let’s get ‘er done! Below are my essential components to clearing the path, reinstalling your power, deflating undue fear, and entering that zone where fear becomes FIERCE. It's Womanly. Read on...

The Re-Connect: A Return To The Primal Heart of Self Defense

Take a good look at the prehistoric woman on the side bar. Put yourself in her skin. Feel her stance, the way she's settled into her LOWER body-- her hips, legs and Base of Power. Look at the fierce determination and set of her face; her absolute readiness to do what it takes to protect her young. Defend herself.

If any of this feels vaguely familiar or stirs something deep ... that's a great start! Because she or her kin is you, rather an ancestral part of you. This capacity for competent, self defense is innate. Womanly. As old as the womb and the brain itself. Born in the fires of love, fury and primal survival instincts.

Yet for many, this readied capacity has been lost to modern life, buried beneath fear, oppression and socialization, subsumed by the digital beeps that swarm our world usurping our senses.

It's a dangerous disconnect.

To be safer and self-possessed, the survival WILL, SKILL and instinct needs to be restored to maximum capacity. It's a power and ferocity that must be realized from the inside out, a knowing to be kept aglow in our hearts, on at all times.

Returning to this primordial source, plugging back into what we once knew and possessed in full is central to my message and methods. It's key to unlocking the power of Fierce.  

Once you realize that YOU TOO could be a dangerous creature—and not just feel like the endangered one—the journey to becoming warrior-ready is a matter of good instruction and clearing the path. Here's what you'll need, and need to do, to get your mojo primed, pumped, and back online:

1) Get Your Moves On!

Typically, physical and sexual assaults against women happen at very close range. Phone booth range. Hot breath on your face range. Tight quarters call for explosive, instinctive skills. Here are the basics of what you'll need:

  • Practical Moves that rip from our lower center of gravity and base of power—our hips, legs and core.
  • Uncomplicated, gross motor skills. A small but efficient and reliable arsenal of techniques that can be used from standing, sitting and lying (rape specific) positions, ranging in application from low-level to life-threatening attacks.
  • The ability to effectively utilize weapons of opportunity   (anything we can get our hands on) and at the very least basic knowledge and familiarity with conventional weapons.
  • The ability to exploit and use physical surroundings to your advantage—from places to hide, to hard and pointy things to crash an attacker into.
  • Breathing techniques that enable and maximize focus and control.
  • Guts and a cultivated "spirit of entering." The skill and will to counterattack, to blast IN and go through fear, not recoil or retreat when attack is imminent or underway.  
  • Survival Instinct: Leveraging a killer survival instinct (think, lioness) not only helps fuel our fight without inhibitions, but it can help us KILL our very own fear when nothing else will do and the only way out is THROUGH.      

2) Harness the Power of E-motions

Emotions are a vital source of power for women. By tapping into and pulling strength from emotions, we can boost our physical defenses and super-size our fighting heart. When combined with the charge of adrenaline, this energy—be it terror, fury, or our craving for life—can transform petite women into formidable fighters. But to make emotions work in your defense, here's what YOU need to get a handle on:

  • Appreciate the power and double agency of fear. Fear can be savior and saboteur; it can mobilize AND enfeeble. Learn to interpret fear's signals as your trigger to act, to mobilize some action-- NOT inaction. (Unless freezing is purposeful and useful.) Fear's prime purpose is to rally your defenses-- it's an agent of survival.   
  • Fear's other job is to release a potent adrenaline-fueled cocktail into your bloodstream, prepping your body for flight (escape) or fight (battle), gifting you with incredible strength and speed that you can then capitalize on.
  • Know this: adrenaline produces shakes, dry mouth, rapid heart rate, tunnel vision, loss of fine / complex motor control, possible loss of bowels—but hey, who cares? —and loss of cognitive abilities. Precisely why you should stick to gross motor skills. With this cocktail pumping through your veins, pain becomes meaningless, at least secondary. Anticoagulants will slow down bleeding, helping you fight your way to safety. Good stuff!
  • Find the stable center-of-gravity within intense emotion and attach to that. Let this strengthen and galvanize you. Don't let it overwhelm you or devolve into panic. The secret? Collect yourself. Focus. Think. Breathe! 
  • Self defense is elemental. It calls for Fire & Ice. If pinned or you cannot immediately move, stay COOL on the surface - don't telegraph intent!--gathering your energy below until it's time to unleash and explode out.  
  • When it's time to unleash... Ready. Aim. Fire! Explode like a bullet straight into your target. Not like a firecracker dispersing energy in all directions at once.
  • Turn Your Fear Into Fire! Once fear has ushered into motion the neurological changes that prep us for action, the fear must burn away into the flame of another more appropriate focused emotion: PRIMAL RAGE. Focus and aim this into the HEART of your attacker. If it is to escape, blast through him to safety. If we must counter attack, this fury becomes the unsuspected wolverine at his throat.
  • Do not let the power of your emotion get ahead of your technique. E-motion and technique must work together as ONE. (So do not BARK face first, when setting boundaries!) .   

3) Clear Your Head & Your Heart

To be the baddest you can be, shed excess baggage from your psyche. To stay focused on the EXTERNAL threat, free yourself from internal obstacles, doubts, inhibitions or conflicts that could bog you down, split your attention or cause immobilzation when all systems must be "Go!" (It's a little like plumbing: to go full blast, or ANY blast, the pipes need to be clear.) Here are common encumbrances that MUST be overcome, attended to, or flushed out of your mind.

  • KO your inner muggers! Vanquish the voices of doubt/ can't/ shouldn't that could spring from your psyche and ambush you in The Moment of Truth causing you to vacillate or freeze when seconds count.
  • Reconcile spiritual and moral conflict around the use of aggressive force. Clear your conscience. Otherwise this division of heart and mind will stifle your fighting spirit or create a state of "cognitive dissonance" impeding your ability to go full-blast, be whole-hearted, or even SURVIVE!
  • New motto: Harmony... or Else! Hey, I don't even kill creepy spiders; I escort them out of the house, prayerfully cupped in hand. I abhor violence. Yet we MUST embrace the totality of our prismatic nature, our myriad potentials—from high and mighty to down and dirty. Hold these words near and dear: "Nothing human is foreign to me." 

    Yes! You can simultaneously possess Buddha Nature AND Survival Killer Instinct.
  • Cultural "nice lady"conditioning is exploited by criminals, predators and abusers. Undo it! The more you're beholden to traditional behaviors of femininity—or New Age views of the "all nurturing, do-no-harming" feminine principle—the more at risk you become. Inquire within and reject all limitations.
  • Internalized beliefs and myths can become realities, so purge myths of incompetence / fragility / non-aggression from your psyche. Be realistic about your abilities, YES, but throw out the trash!
  • Renegotiate with fear: OVERCOME THE FEAR OF INJURY! 
  • If you suffer traumatic stress from past assaults make it a priority to heal-- to attend to, integrate, and resolve. Free-floating anxiety, emotional "triggers" and unresolved events or hauntings embedded in the psyche can effect behavior and responses to danger in the present. 

4) Cultivate the Female Warrior Mindset

Look again at our prehistoric woman. It's unmistakable: her mind is set, her will is committed-- so much so that FEROCITY dissolves all trace of her fear and hesitation. In her mind, the engagement has already begun. We must be prepared to engage the warrior spirit, the willingness to do what it takes and chose our actions. Here's a closer look at what this entails:

  • The warrior mindset is more than your "mind." It's a total state of being, an awakened shift of direct awareness and consciousness stemming from hide, heart, and limbs. It's a whole-self knowing from head to toe- it's not just 'in your head."    
  • Battle ready is a state-of-being centered in the present. In the context of self defense, it happens NOW! Now is often the only time that matters. Be there!
  • Being fearless implies a lessening, a minus. Being fearsome involves adding something in. Embrace fearsome. Cultivate its shocking potential.
  • Truthbomb: Nobody is ready for a wolverine slapped onto their mug! Learn to seize the moment. Take charge—literally. 
  • Battles are often won in the will. Decide in advance where you draw the line. What is worth fighting for? What is non-negotiable? What do YOU hold sacred? Once you decide where your line is drawn, the ferocity to protect naturally arises.  
  • Pacifism can only be a truly meaningful choice if born of strength, not from fear or wishful thinking and you're  willing to do what may be contrary to that belief. There is no escaping reality: aggressive force is sometimes necessary to stop violence. Reconcile this in advance so you're able to whole-heartedly choose pacifism born of strength. 
  • Instead of shunning aggression learn to view it as a resource.    
  • Remember—this isn't new. It's ancient. Old. Some part of you already nows how to do this! Find it. Respect it. Learn to bring it to bear.